One of the most important tasks in a relationship, talking! 😀
One of the most important tasks in a relationship, talking! 😀
I had a very interesting conversation today about aggression, made all the more interesting because it was with a woman i’ve never met, likely never will, and who declared she hates the very thought of men like me. Her opinion was that i’m ‘too aggressive’, too forward, much too quick to get to the point of something, and it’s men like me that are ruining the world.
I found it interesting because she got to this conclusion without any conversation from me, but insisted on making sure I knew that her opinion of me being aggressive is what’s wrong with the entire world. So, thanks for putting in all the effort to show me why we can’t date, I appreciate that.
It did, however, get me to thinking about me getting to the point, and some of the other things that people point out when they call me ‘intense’ or ‘aggressive’.
Someone says they don’t know where I live. I point out that it’s in my profile, because reading and taking in information is a basic skill. Taking that a little further, sometimes people will tell me they saw that, but don’t know where that is… to which I reply with a comment about, or perhaps a link to, google maps. Again, basic skill.
Another example is when people ask me what my dealbreakers are. Again, I point to my profile, and sometimes that’s when they call me an asshole (or other attempts at insults), or sometimes they reply later and we continue to conversation.
My profile is built, designed, and updated to filter (not the first time we’ve talked about filtering, is it?) out the women I would not enjoy dating, and it’s somewhat humorous to me to see women get so mad at me about such little things. Ladies, I don’t know if you’ve figured this out yet, but if my profile pisses you off, you’re not strong enough to date men, so stick with boys. #sorrynotsorry
So, am I aggressive? When needs be, yes. Am I an Alpha male? Probably. Am I driven? To succeed in ways most people only dream of.
The bottom line here is i’m just like any other guy; not every woman is going to like me. When I was a boy, I didn’t like that. When I grew up, got over myself, and stopped living to please the world, I learned that ‘not everyone will like you’ is a good thing. I keep my circle small, and just like everything else in my life, i’m all about quality, not quantity.
I’ve had a handful of conversations in the last few days where the girl decided to insult me, calling me names, suggesting i’m making up for a small penis, small brain, big ego, or something of the sort, and that’s why i’m ‘crazy’ and ‘linear’. I’ve seen this behavior in other places, but there seems to be an abnormal abundance of it here in Atlanta.
First, in order to insult me I have to value your opinion, so all you’ve done is shown me the correct option is to unmatch/block/go away.
Second, the reason I filter is because people usually respond in anger, hatred, narcissism, and yelling, so much yelling, before they’ll get anywhere close to attempting to understand. It’s annoying at best, downright dangerous at worst. I don’t want any of that, so i’m happy to filter it out.
Third, i’m linear because i’m detail-oriented, and I take things one step at a time. That’s what makes me really good at getting things done very well, and the more I do them, the faster I get. It’s part of who I am, and hating me for it just tells me to stay away from you.
Last, i’m not ‘making up’ for anything; I am who I am, and the kind of woman I want to date is attracted to who I am.
Now if I could just get tinder to let me unmatch without having to report….
I crack me up…
So anyway, I got all packed up and ready to roll out of LaGrange. I got on the road, and dealt with the usual mix of people driving their phones and playing with their cars, people who don’t know how to merge, people who wait until it’s too late to merge and then cut you off, and one drunk motorcyclist who thought my decals were the coolest mural ever.
I get to my destination, I check in at the office, we make some changes to my site assignment, and off I go to set up camp. I got side-to-side level (always do this first!!) on the the third pull-in, without blocks, and was very happy. I set about setting up camp (check out my procedures posts!) and i’m thinking the worst is over. (Ominous music here).
I open the back compartment door to get my freshwater hose out and I see not one, not TWO, BUT THREE new ant nests. THREE. IN. MY. COMPARTMENT. Fine, you want war? War it is! I spent 20 minutes with a shop vac sucking those little buggers up, and i’m pretty sure all my neighbors think i’m bonkers now because I was quoting Enders Game the whole time. Damn buggers.
Ok, buggers vacuumed, connections made, camp set up, the dog walked, and a bunch of other little things, so now back to finish dumping my black tank (it never got emptied the second time).
I turn on the sewer flusher hose, hear nothing. Darn. I leave it on about halfway, open the black tank valve, and watch happily as mostly clean water drains out. Great! All clean, no big deal. I go inside, (I wipe my feet) I check the tank levels, and all three show empty. Awesome! I got outside, I close all three tank valves, and I go on working on the internet connection. I determine it’s a lack of park bandwidth, see that I need groceries, and hear my dog telling me it’s time to go to the park.
So off we go, Scout and I, to the park, where she had a great time and I hung out. Then off to get groceries, and finally, back home after three hours. Three hours…. that nagging feeling in the back of my head… three hours… odd. I think I missed something, forgot something. Weird.
I put away the groceries, feed the dog, and go to use the head. I notice its more than halfway full, which is odd, since I never leave it that way, and thought it was empty when I left. No matter, i’ll just flush it all away… BLOOOOMP. Yeah. Ever seen a toilet burp a geyser?? I have, I did, right there. Water all over the floor. Water all over the seat! Water all over my feet. (See? Even in a crappy time, I made a rhyme) (SARAH, SO HELP ME…)
What happened you ask? Well, i’ll tell ya. I checked the tank levels, and sure enough, black tank? FULL. I mean FULLLLLL to the BRIM, and then some. You may recall I left the sewer flusher on about halfway, and never did turn it off? Yeah, that’s what I forgot.
So, lesson learned, don’t leave your sewer flusher on and go away on adventure, because you’ll come back to a pedal activated geyser!
So now here I sit, fingers sore from all this typing, brain happy from the wine, floor clean from the towels, tanks clean and empty, and i’m happy to pass this story on to you in the hopes that when you make these mistakes, you’ll laugh about them, too.
(Ok Sarah, you can laugh at me now).
Part duex… as in doody.. Hahahaha….. hah. Ok, enough of the crappy jokes, back to the story!
So, I had just watched the dump station overflow, fought with it awhile, and finally washed it all away with clean water. I packed up my stuff and that’s when I realized I had left behind my splitter and regulator, but I did NOT want to take the rig back through the park (super nice park, but the one main road going through is narrow and twisty all the way through).
Ta-Da! The bike-mobile to the rescue. Yes, I rode my bike, yes, I went fast, and yes I breathed a lot when I got back. Shush (especially you, SARAH.)
So, i’m thinking it’s all good, I just need to put my crap away and go on, right? (All together now…) W R O N G.
The ground is now burping up MORE stuff, so i’m battling it with the hose, flooding the area with clean water, and losing. It took five whole minutes to get that under control, and the ground stopped burping; ridiculous.
You’d think i’d be done by now, right? Yeah. So then I go around the other side to put my wheel chocks back in their compartment (a place for everything, everything in it’s place) and when I open the door, did I find a nice, clean compartment with space for my wheel chocks?? No, I DID NOT. ANTS. ANTS ALL UP IN IT. They not only had a nest in there, they had a hotel, a pool, a jacuzzi, a strip mall, a strip club, and a strip for airplanes. So, being an external compartment, I just hosed it all out! Easy, right? (All together now) W R O N G. I got water EVERYWHERE. You know what else I got everywhere? Yep, ants. Ants all over. So now i’ve got wet, angry, ants on various parts of me, i’ve got a hose that’s all wet and slippery kind of in my hands, and i’ve got globs of mud coming out of the compartment from me spraying their nest in there. (Sarah, SHUT. UP.)
Ok, so, I get the hose under control, I rinse the compartment from a safer distance, I get the ants off of me, I get the wheel chocks put away, and eventually get everything else ready to transport in one way or another. I dry off (ALWAYS keep extra towels in the truck, you never know what life will hand you!) take a few minutes to just breathe, and remind myself, “A bad day of RVing is better than a good day in a house” (I’d like to spray wet, angry ants on the person who came up with that crap!).
Stay tuned for part three…..
Hello faithful readers!
(Hey to y’all that just come by now and then :P)
Today was packed full of adventure (problems) and I reminded myself several times that I really should be blogging more of my adventures, so here we are.
I did all the big packing last night, like I always do, so I only had a few key things to pack and put away this morning. I ran some errands, got those done, and proceeded to make ready, bring in the slides, and hookup.
I was camping in a park, on the lake (BEAUTIFUL site, AMAZING view!) but it was water and power only, no sewer, so I had to stop by the dump station on my way out, no big deal.
Well, it was a big deal (ominous music here).
I got to the dump station, got lined up just right the first time (Easy to do, there’s a big concrete strip in asphalt where your dump tube goes!) and hooked up my sewer hose. I pulled the black tank handle (Always dump the black tank first!), and watched with a silly satisfaction as the liquid quickly filled the hose and whooshed away (sound effect here). That lasted of all 10 seconds, and then, a slow, tiny, brown trickle (I hope you’re not eating while reading this!). Trickle, trickle, drip, drip, nothing.
Ok, no problem, just a clogged valve, I can handle this! I quickly cycled the valve gate several times in an effort to dislodge the stoppage, no help.
I hooked up the sewer flusher hose (having a built in sewer flusher is AMAZING) and turned it on… no noise, no sound, no flow inside.
The downside to doing this solo is that I have no one to tell me what’s going on inside, or to turn valves outside, while I do the other thing, so I have to walk around the RV, go inside, wipe my feet real good (hey, i’m solo, not an animal!) and look/listen for signs of my sewer flush system working. Nothing. No sound, no movement of water under the toilet flap, nada.
So I go back outside, disconnect the hose, check the water flow, and it’s flowing fine. Great. Take the elbow connector off, and find crud on the screen washer between the elbow connector and the hose fitting into the RV. Awesome, little screen did it’s job, I clean out the mess, verify the screen is good to go, and put it all back together. Now we have water flowing through the sewer flusher pushing the clog out, right?
Walk around the RV, get in, wipe my feet, go into the bathroom, look/listen. Nothing. Nada. Zip.
Go back outside, walk around the RV, look at hose connection, scratch head, shrug, turn hose off, move hose to sewer line flusher. Turn on full blast, turn on little connector between hose and sewer connector, and…. psssss….. little tiny spray of water. That little rubber piece inside? All smashed up. Yay.
Ok, fine, next idea. Close black tank valve. Connect city water connection. Turn on city water connection, walk around RV, go inside (wipe feet), go into the bathroom, point very bright flashlight down toilet bowl, press pedal to the floor, and watch water swirl into the tank. Hold this position until tank is almost full (doesn’t take long, it was FULL when I started, and only let out a little).
Great! Go back outside, open black tank valve, grin as waste goes WHOOOOOOSSHHHH. Awesome.
Tank empties, I close valve, go back inside (wipe feet), fill up tank with toilet again. Takes forever, play on facebook and search on indeed while I stand there. Side note, there are no jobs for pedal holder, but plenty of jobs around pushing a pedal. I’m clearly overqualified.
Tank is full, go back outside, open valve. Big whoosh, mostly clear, much happy. Hear metal tinkling sound, think, “THat’s not good…”, turn to sewer connector in ground (less connector, more hole at ground level that you drop your elbow connector into) and watch as the ground burps up my connector, shoving it two feet to the side, and then spews… waste.
I take a BIG step back, close the black tank valve, and watch as the ‘water’ overflows the concrete drain area and into the grass area around it. It was at this point I took note of the much thicker, greener, taller grass in the middle of the small valley where the runoff was going, and it suddenly dawned on me… Yeah.
So, I scratch head some more, text the park manager, and attempt a couple of ways to unclog the drain. All failed, all made more mess, so I simply diluted the water until it was clear around the drain and didn’t stink anymore. I cleaned up my hoses, hung them on the back steps to dry while I drove, and pondered my next move.
Whew, we’re over the worst of it now, right? Wrong.
“Assumption is the MOTHER of all fuck-ups” – Penn, Under Siege 2
I’ve never been a fan of assumptions in any aspect of life, but in the world of dating and relationships, I double down on not wanting that nonsense.
My last relationship was interesting in many ways, but one of the things I had to deal with a constant parade of assumptions from her. Now, it’s important (to me) to note that she had a really bad (abusive in many ways) previous relationship, and that’s not easy to recover from. I put in a lot of effort to help her start dealing with some of that, and I gently reminded her often to look at my actions alone, not to judge me on the actions of previous boyfriends, but I never got that.
Assumptions create a lot of problems, and they’re not easy to deal with because they put two people in two different positions; the one who makes the assumptions is not thinking about the same things as the other person because the other person doesn’t have the information the assumption maker has made up (that’s a mouthful, right??).
Hence the reason why I always work to pull people back from the assumption and get both parties back on common ground; only then can we start working forward TOGETHER. This, to me, is the basis of teamwork, and requires clear, open communication.
Her assumptions of me led to most of the issues we had to deal with, all the way up to her creating drama and cutting ties with me. I don’t like that it came to that, but it wasn’t my choice, and there’s nothing left for me to do about it.
Don’t make assumptions! Spend the energy on communication and working WITH your partner instead of against them.
A date isn’t made perfect by the place, the setting, the time, or anything else; it’s made perfect by the people, and the relationship between them.
I’m finally upgrading my blog platform, which is fairly exciting.
Tumblr’s okay, but it lacks several quality features I like using in my other blogs, so I finally sat down and figured out how to create a new wordpress.com blog. I’ve got a couple of blogs built into my website, but I wanted to keep my dating blog separate from my website, just to add a layer of anonymity from the potential crazies out there.
So, new blog platform, broken down into three main categories, and something that’s a little easier to capture and share media with, in an organized and thoughtful way; I like it.
As time allows i’ll be going through the archives to clean up old posts, correct some issues with media, and generally straighten things out back there. I won’t change the content, point, or material in any of my posts because that’s what was on my mind at that time, and I think it’s nice to see a history of progression (Or regression, if the shoe fits).
So, keep reading, keep following, and keep improving! 😀