date (dāt/) noun

  1. 1.the day of the month or year as specified by a number.“what’s the date today?”synonyms:day, day of the month, occasion, time; More
  2. 2.a social or romantic appointment or engagement.”a college student on a date with someone he met in class”synonyms:appointment, meeting, engagement, rendezvous, assignation; commitment”a lunch date”

We’re not talking about day of the month or year here, we’re talking about the act (art) of dating, and specifically about the purpose of ‘online dating’.

Let’s start with the part that seems obvious to me, but elusive to most: online dating isn’t dating, at all. No, not even a little bit. Online dating is a fun term thrown about that covers a wide variety of sites and services with one purpose in practice: connect people based on certain criteria. Most often that criteria is location, interests, and intention, but it can include a myriad of other variables such as preferences about drugs, kids, lifestyle, or cars.

Online dating is all about connection. That’s it, that’s all of it. You set up a profile (be honest!), set your preferences, and start filtering through the returned matches. Simple, right? It is, except when people get involved and muck it all up with the mud and the stupid and the drama and the attitude.

You know that line about me, “I’m real, raw, and honest”? or the other one, “I’m logical, i’m efficient, i’m organized”? Yeah, those are me, all the way down to my bone marrow. For me, online dating is simply a connection tool, and I use my tools efficiently. I have a system setup that’s specifically designed to filter out women I don’t want to date. Indecisive? No thanks. Poor communicator? No thanks. Quick to anger? NO. All of those are traits that my system is designed to filter out quickly, and it works, all the time, every time.

If you don’t know what the purpose of the tool, platform, or service you’re using is, then perhaps you shouldn’t be using it.

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