Dating is a numbers game, plain and simple. Yes, there’re feelings involved, along with chemicals and time and other stuff, and that’s great! But that’s all third date stuff. How do you get to the third date? By having a good second date. How do you get to a good second date? By having a first good date. How do you get to having a good first date? BY MEETING.
How do you get to meeting? By figuring out whether or not you match. There’s two parts to this that really matter:
1) Does this person have/do/embody anything that you just won’t tolerate in your life? Those are called dealbreakers, and they need to be clear, concise, and communicated.
2) Is this person someone who motivates you to put on clothes, go someplace, and meet them? That’s called criteria to meet, and it’s important for that to be clear, concise, and communicated as well.
I always chuckle when people tell me ‘online dating is hard’. No, my dear reader, online dating is not hard, you’re just making it, or taking it, hard.
Each potential match of mine is put to the same measuring stick:
Do they have any of my dealbreakers? If yes, Next! If no, proceed.
Do they meet my ‘criteria to meet’? If yes, let’s meet. If no, Next!.
Once we’ve met, we’ll figure out the rest as we go and as needed, but until we’ve met in person, what’s the point?