A common issue I deal with is when I ask someone else what their dealbreakers are. The women who ask me what dealbreakers are clearly aren’t ready to date, and seem most likely to bitch and whine about dating being hard. The women who know what dealbreakers are, but don’t know what theirs are, are most likely to create confusion, then get pissy with me when I ask questions to clarify.
The driving force behind me making a system for online dating was to avoid getting so many mean/angry/judgemental/insulting messages in the online dating world, and i’m happy to report it works very well. I still get them now and then, but now I recognize them as red flags, and I move on as quickly as I can, leaving that person to deal with their own issues.
A smaller issue I run into is when a dealbreaker is based on opinion, or is not something I can measure for myself. One of my dealbreakers is poor communincation, and that’s really easy for other people to figure out; either they can communicate with people and they know it, or they don’t know, which means they probably don’t communicate clearly. I know, I know, i’m an asshole. Sure. I’m not, i’m just efficient, direct, and moving forward. Keep up.
For me, I used to ask for clarification on dealbreakers that I couldn’t determine for myself if I had them, but the overwhelming response to that has been rude/angry/insulting messages, so now if I can’t figure out for myself if I don’t have any of their dealbreakers, I simply determine we don’t match, and I move on. I’ve been told that I could be missing out on someone great, and I agree, but life is entirely too short to waste on people who insist on making things difficult when they don’t need to be, and I have no desire to be around people like that.