I recently had a conversation with a female that was a great example of poor communication, and a strong reason for disliking poor communication.
In short, when I asked her what her criteria to meet was, she gave me a list of five things that were attributes you could not possibly tell about a person without dating them for a month or so. I won’t list them all (so as to not provide any way for anyone to link a person to my blog!) but things like “Good with my family”, “Treats me right”, and “Wants to get married and have kids (with me)” were in there.
Now, we can all agree that those are attributes desired in a mate, but certainly not criteria to meet. So, I pointed out that I thought there was no way for either of us to know those things about the other until after we’d met and dated awhile, but I clearly do not currently meet her criteria to meet, so I wished her the best.
She quickly backpedaled into an, “I didn’t understand what you meant” mode, and I told her it wasn’t a big deal, we’re just not compatible. She kept messaging me, and said that what she meant was, “Not a serial killer”, which is either a poor attempt at humor, or a poor outlook on dating in general (to me). I again told her ‘no worries’, good luck and all that, and I pointed out that she didn’t need to seem desperate by sending me so many messages. I told her she’s pretty, capable, and clearly knows exactly what she wants, so go get it!
Well. Here’s where things took a turn for the worst, and an example of why poor communication is a deal breaker for me. She responded by demanding to know why I dared to insult her, and explaining she’s the ‘lucky one’ for ‘dodging a bullet’, and other angry things. I unmatched her, and went on about my day.
What i’ve often found is that people who won’t put in the effort to communicate clearly often turn to anger, insults, demands, and attempt to place the blame for the problem on other people. This is how arguments (or fights) start; from a simple misunderstanding, to a full-blown brawl in no time flat!
I have no desire to be around people who resolve conflict by exacerbating the conflict, creating more problems, placing blame, or otherwise using anger, and that’s why it’s a dealbreaker!
So, ladies, if you think it’s acceptable to blame, argue, yell, scream, shout, or otherwise throw a fit when things don’t make sense, be prepared to accept a man who treats you the same way, because men like me don’t accept women like that. :/