It seems that most people see dating as difficult. It’s not, but, as with most things involving people, people make it more difficult than it needs to be.
I set out long ago to make life as simple as possible. Some of the things I do to make things simple are for daily life, like always putting my stuff back where it belongs, having a specific place where stuff goes (keys, wallet, phone, so on), always plugging my phones in at night to charge, having extra chargers in my go bag, having a go bag, and on and on and on.
Specifically with dating, I set out to make things simple, and i’ve done so by figuring out the following:
1) Dealbreakers: These are things that I simply will not tolerate from anyone I CHOOSE to spend my time with (time is a precious thing, see my entry about it), and nothing you say or do will change that.
2) What I want: This is what I expect to get out of dating. I want to share my time with other people in an enjoyable manner, whether it be conversation, exploring, learning, teaching, helping, or a wide range of other things.
3) The kind of woman I want to attract: This is very important to consider, from either side. I want my next girlfriend to be smart, classy, and a little sassy. She’s strong, capable, independant, and has her own life going on; she doesn’t NEED me, she WANTS me. In order to attract that kind of woman, I focus on what kind of man that woman would be attracted to, and I work every day to be a little bit better than who I was yesterday, keeping my focus on that man I want to become.
4) Signs: Everywhere you look, there are signs. You could call them flags, or clues, or hints, but the idea is all the same; they’re indicators of behavior you like, or don’t like. I don’t like people who makes things more difficult than they need to be. I have to tolerate people like this in my daily life, and I do so because it’s part of being an adult, but it’s not something I CHOOSE to spend my time on. That being said, if you make things more difficult than they need to be, I know i’m not going to enjoy my time with you, and it’s best for me to be along my merry way.
Dating is fun, adventuresome, and engaging, if you let it be. If you think dating sucks, i’ll be glad to show you the problem; it’s in your mirror. 🙂