I’d like to take a few minutes to outline safe meeting practices you should always be using in your dating activities, and any guy you go out with, with the intention of dating, should be okay with this, too. I’ll cover the ‘criteria to meet’ stuff elsewhere, but this post is all about the safety aspect of meeting someone new.
1) Fly a kite. Don’t actually go out and fly a kite; this is a phrase from tradecraft 101, and is talking about making sure you have direct communication with someone you trust that can be there for you if things go sideways.
Your friend, your sister, your roommate; whoever it is, it needs to be someone you trust, and someone who agrees to do this for you. After that, it’s very simple.
Give your friend the time and place of the meeting, the name and picture of the guy you’re meeting, and access to your conversation with them, or to your dating profile, so they can follow up if needs be.
Stay in touch with your friend from beginning to end. You don’t need to have Rambo on the line, but your friend should know when you’ve arrived, when you met the guy, your initial impression, and when you’re all done and back safely on your way.
Have a failsafe; if your friend doesn’t hear from you by 15 minutes after the scheduled meet time, they should check on you and verify you’re okay. If that call fails three times, they should come to the meeting place to see if they can spot you, and determine the next course of action. This way, if you arrive, and things go sideways faster than you can call for help, your friend will take care of it for you, without any action on your part.
Alright, so you’ve got your friend/roomie/sister/bff/Rambo all setup to keep a watchful ear on you, now it’s time to go.
2) Meet in a public place. A coffee shop, a bar, a pool hall, a Yoga studio, a fitness center, a restaurant; any of these are fine, just be sure to meet in a public place. This gives you the safety of ‘power in numbers’ without having to bring all your friends along, and gives you an easy out if things go south.
The chances of something going sideways in a public place are pretty slim, because there’s a bunch of people around. Don’t meet at a public place that’s not populated; there needs to be other people around.
3) Be yourself, relax, trust your instincts, and relax. Now’s the really fun part! Let your friend know you’ve met with the guy, he’s super cute, and you love his beard. 😉
If something seems off, or doesn’t feel right, then leave! For me, if a girl says, “I’ve got to go”, then the meeting’s over, and she’s got to go, that simple. I think it’s better to be honest and up front, and while it’s certainly polite to offer a little bit of explanation, you’re not obligated to do so. On the other side of that, don’t be a total bitch, make a scene, and act like a toddler. Just let the guy know you’ve got to go, and then quietly go.
4) From here, it’s up to you to decide how fast and how far things go. Be yourself, do what you want to do, but make sure your friend knows your next move is you go somewhere else with the guy, and I recommend you drive yourself there, just so you have an added layer of security.
Dating is easy once you’ve decided what your guidelines are, so figure it out, set your boundaries, and go find a guy you want to spend time with! 😀