Alright, so you’ve made it through my gauntlet of questions, all four of them, and we’ve decided to meet. Here’s how I figure this out:
1) Coffee place, alcohol place, eating place.
I’m going to choose one of these three places so we can check off several things at once. I want to meet in a public place because that’s just the smart thing to do, and it’s supposed to help you feel comfortable and relaxed because i’m a guy, which means i’m the spawn of satan, right? (Wrong, more on that later). I want to meet in a place where we can have a drink; coffee, tea, beer, wine, whatever, just something we can sip on, or if it’s around eating time, something to nibble on while we’re chatting. it’s not so much the conversation as it is about the time we spend together that makes up the meeting portion for me. If you’ve got nothing to do besides talk and listen, chances are you’ll get nervous, and that just causes problems, but if you have something to drink, something to eat, something to fiddle with, that can help ease your anxiety about the situation, and make the whole scene a little easier.
2) I’m going to pick a place where I would be happy to go by myself.
I do this so that, first, if you stand me up, it doesn’t matter to me, i’ll enjoy myself whether you show or not. This way, I can’t even begin to get mad if you stand me up, which means i’ve got less to be mad about over all. Win-win.
I also do this so that if you show up, and turn out to be ‘not my cup of tea’, i’m happy to stay alone and continue my day.
Lastly, I do this so that I can be in a place where i’m comfortable and relaxed.
3) I’m going to pick a place that’s well-suited for conversation and interaction. I won’t ask you to a movie for a meeting, that’s just silly to me. I love a good, local, coffee house because there’s always great sights, smells, sounds, and seating that’s conducive to conversation and interaction without being pushy or in someones personal space.
4) Lastly, i’m looking for a place that’s comfortable or inviting to women.
I’m not going to invite you to a sports bar where there’s s UFC fight going on, unless you’ve asked for that, because it’s not a great place for us to have fun conversation, and I don’t think you’d be comfortable there.
I’d much rather meet in a coffee shop just across from a park, so when we decide we really enjoy each others vibes, we can extend our time into a walk around the park and see the sparkle in the others eyes while they’re sharing fond memories of time spent in nature, or something akin to that.
The bottom line for me is i’m here to meet you, see who you really are, and give you the opportunity to do the same with me. Public, comfortable, conducive to conversation, easy in and out, and we’re on the path to sharing some great time with each other.